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a man deep of retired thoughts

Deep Thoughts of a Retired Man
#1
I finished packing up and storing all the Christmas decorations today, & after doing so I sat down & had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, & the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by & asked me what I was doing, I said, "Nothing."

She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"

I replied, "I WASN'T DONE , SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old again question: "Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?" Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, & some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, & even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts again."

I rest my case. Time for another beer, & then maybe a nap. It?s nice being retired. It gives me time to reflect on some of the important things in life.
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