Light Humor

[Dean213]

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

1. Not everyone who sh1ts on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh1t is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep sh1t, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!!!


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A priest offered a lift to a lady. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

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My wife and me were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have s_x?"


"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

"Yes," she replied.

Then I said, "I'd like to phone a friend."

That's the last thing I remember after waking up in Hospital.